The world of dance is so varied and offers incredible chances for creativity, physical health, confidence, and talent development when approached in a healthy, age-appropriate way. When my child wanted to start dancing, I was excited to see those skills developed. However, over the years, my concerns grew regarding the increase of hypersexualized dance routines and costumes for dancers. It is important for parents, instructors, and the dance community to understand the difference between developing a child’s love of dance in a safe environment and exposing them to inappropriate, adult-themed performances. This article hopes to provide a little guidance on things to look for when distinguishing a healthy dance environment from those that cross the line into hypersexualization.

Picture this: you’ve driven two hours to support your child’s activity. After months of preparation and effort, the excitement is high. Grandparents, siblings, and your spouse are there supporting your precious dancer. You arrive early to secure everyone’s seats, and Mom and the dancer head out to complete hair and makeup.

Excitement hums in the air. Nervous energy rises, and worry settles in as the announcement comes that the competition is about to begin. Mom rushes out to take her seat. Numerous studios perform, and reality sets in. What have we gotten ourselves into?

I am not sure which emotion came first—shock, disbelief, confusion, embarrassment, or sadness—but the costumes and choreography for children were concerning and often shocking. I knew at that moment that we were grateful for a studio that kept dance routines age-appropriate and costumes modest.

When approached about the hypersexualization of children in dance, I thought of many past experiences watching that first competition and the years that followed. First, there were “production” numbers that had children who were 5 or 6 performing with High School Seniors in what equated to “blinged-out bikinis” performing a routine better suited to an adult establishment. It seemed the more skin and the more provocative the moves, the better.  Second was the realization that the judges actually rewarded that type of performance higher. Studios are a business and therefore require income by attracting clients. How do you gain students? Often it is by winning awards. Parents pay money to see their child excel. They want to win the trophy… who doesn’t? If what is required to win is skimpy outfits that equate to undergarments and routines that are not age-appropriate…well, that is the cost and price paid.

There are so many dance studios and so many decisions that will influence our child. My main questions became:

-What have I seen or done that helped keep my child from becoming a part of that dynamic?

-How could any parent discern between the many studios to keep their child safe while developing a talent?

Each parent is responsible for guiding their children, so everyone will do it differently. Like with most things, preparation can make all the difference. That perspective is why I share the following advice for choosing a studio and staying attentive.

I want to recommend, as Stephen Covey said, “Begin with the end in mind.”

What is your goal for having your child in dance?

That question is where you begin. The answer can splinter into a variety of responses, so after a decade immersed in both competitive and recreational dance, I’ve realized there’s so much I wish I’d known from the beginning. This is what I would have sent to my younger self about making wise choices and staying vigilant.

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Dear Parent,

Thank you for trying so hard! Thank you for loving your child enough to sacrifice time and money to help them develop a gift/talent. Here is a little advice…

Buckle up… there is no one decision and then a chance to be on “cruise control.” You must be prepared and vigilant throughout the journey.

Do your research regarding dance studios. The basics can include, but are not limited to: reviewing the mission statement, talking with families, asking questions, and examining past recital programs to see if their standards and goals align with yours. Don’t compromise your standards just so your child can dance with a friend, since friendships can change, and the studio’s values will have a lasting impact. Many studios may see your child more than you do, so make sure it’s an environment you trust. Here are some of my thoughts:

• Ask for background checks on teachers.
• Ask for their training and continuing education in dance.
• Look at how many older students are at the studio and what their skill levels are. Pay attention to the recital and how well those older students dance. This shows whether the studio retains students and their training capability.
• How is the class taught? If your studio doesn’t have windows to watch the classes, then listen at the door and see how the class is taught. Periodically checking on the class also helps you stay vigilant.
• Does the studio offer a competition team, community involvement, or other options?                                                                                  

Decide which will fit your child and your family’s commitment level.

• Ask to watch a past recital and look at their recital program. Look at their costumes and their choreography; this will show you more than words could.
• How do they decide when a child goes on “Pointe”? Are the teachers ensuring the child’s health and readiness? Read up on recommendations for pointe shoes and the teacher’s training in teaching them.
• Competition teams can vary widely, not only in their purpose but also in how they influence your child. Is anyone allowed to audition, or is it only by invitation? Each studio has its own criteria.

Trust your instincts. Whether you call it intuition, a prompting, or a gut feeling, listen to it. If something feels off, ask questions or make changes. Don’t be afraid to switch studios if needed. Try summer classes or camps elsewhere to explore options. Change can be scary but also rewarding, and by showing your child it’s okay to seek the best fit, you exhibit courage and resilience. Pursue what is best for your child—it’s different for everyone.

Remember, there is a vital difference between a gift and a talent. A gift in dance is an innate, natural ease—something a dancer is born with. A talent, on the other hand, is a learned skill in dance that is improved over time with hard work and perseverance. I have seen naturally gifted children fail to work and develop the discipline needed. I have also witnessed a child who was super awkward, looking at the other dancers to remember steps, but who worked hard, persisted, and then excelled. I have also witnessed those who have both a gift and the talent of discipline.

Each child has the capability to excel. So, PLEASE don’t judge a dancer too early. If they want to dance, help them develop the attributes they need offstage to excel on it. Commitment, honesty, determination, hard work, kindness, and most importantly, always providing grace for themselves and others.

Recognize that educating yourself and trusting your instincts are a good foundation. You’ve got this!

Your future experienced self

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I hope my few tips may help but remember that anything worth doing requires constant effort. Dancing is no different, and the joy and magic when your child’s face lights up is worth every learning curve and effort. When they learn a new dance move, pass their “pointe test,” or come off the stage after a recital, and their face glows with magic, it is worth it.

My experience is that healthy, age-appropriate children’s dance provides many lasting benefits – confidence, discipline, friendships, and the development of talents. By staying vigilant and educated, parents and dance instructors can ensure that young dancers are protected from the harmful effects of hypersexualized performance and costumes. Ensure the dance studio you choose will help and not hinder the long-term view your child will see within themselves, not just in dance but throughout their lives.

Bio:

Jody Frey is a dedicated wife and mother with a passion for lifelong learning. Currently a stay-at-home mom, she actively volunteers with community organizations. Jody’s past experience as a licensed property and casualty insurance agent and auditor strengthened her skills in risk assessment and continuous improvement. She has also served as an office manager at a dance studio, contributing to website design, event planning, and creative projects. Above all, Jody’s commitment to her family remains her top priority.